Thursday, April 21, 2016

Tirade (Thursday) #4: What is the deal with SPYDER?!?

Ok, so this is probably a topic that's been bothering me for about three years, ever since I picked up Spy School way back when. There's got to be something wrong with SPYDER right? I mean, they've lost every time to the CIA, which according to CIA members (Spy School kids), claim the CIA is as useful as a wet tissue or whatever (I think they referred to Alex Hale? But you get the point)

Like for example, in Spy Camp the reason they didn't launch those missiles is because Ben kicks apart a switch connecting the power to the main launch center. Does SPYDER not plan for this? I mean, if you're gonna shell out money on missiles, can you not make the control panel power on its own, or have multiple fail safes? Because really, it didn't even have to be Ben, any useless employee could simply trip on it.

Oh yeah and then there's the part where Ben gets Nefarious to move those missiles away from the bridges by simply talking to him. Wha..what?!? Ok, so you invest in some kid who you believe is evil, and apparently is "the cream of the cream" of the crop, and he fails you because he gets talked out of doing it?!? Look, it's not that hard, knock on the door of some kid who's good at video games, pay him a hundred grand, you're getting billions for destroying the bridges, and have him do it. Or how about, not letting a "former" CIA agent into your main headquarters and then allowing him to find a secret basement that just happens to be control central. How about, have it off site? To them, yeah it's underground, and Ben wasn't supposed to find it, but remember this, Joshua realizes Ben's a mole (when he cracks the safe, and then the note). So he knows that Ben can't be trusted and that Ben knows the room down stairs is like a mission control. It doesn't take a genius to say "MOVE THE FRICKIN CONTROL CENTER SOMEWHERE ELSE" Also, remember the scene where Ben is running from SPYDER and his teachers and other SPYDER agents are firing at him? So you're telling me that the "best evil people in the world" couldn't hit a scrawny kid from give or take point blank range? Like twenty people somehow missed him. Yeah, fat chance of that happening.

I especially don't understand Ashley at all. How did SPYDER train her? I'm pretty sure they didn't train her to try and fight Erica if she was in a situation (which SPYDER Should've predicted) like she was down in the hidden room. Does she not realize she can beat Ben to a pulp, Erica will let her guard for a split second, and then take her out too? Instead she's just like "Ok, so Ben's too easy. Erica will stall me just long enough so Ben can stop Nefarious"

And what's with having kid agents anyways? If the CIA does it, so what? They're "stupid, incoherent" people. I talked to Stuart, and he said that in ESS, Spy Camp, and SS, the reason these teen agents don't pull the trigger on people when they point guns at them is because morally, they are still good people, just put in bad situations. So they're willing to threaten but not actually kill. But earlier in the book, when Ben tries to run, we saw that the adult agents didn't care because they fired away. So why not have people willing to get the job done and take care of the good guys instead of kids who can't even beat people up? Seems pretty suspicious to me.

But I do get that Stu keep his books moving along and honestly, I could think of a million ways ESS could've ended worse. But I mean, after all these tales of Ben fighting off Bad guys and all this lead up to ESS, basically Ben foils SPYDER's scheme because they were bad shots and had agents who weren't motivated to do evil, so unmotivated they were talked out of being evil. I'm looking forward to SS4, because of the knew Jessica Shang thing. Basically, even if SPYDER is involved, other evil is coming in, and I hope that they know a thing or two about being evil.


Two footnotes:

One: If the CIA is reading this, Hi, I'm not disrespecting what is a brilliant oraganization in keeping our country safe. This is how you're portrayed in Spy School.

Two: If Stuart Gibbs is reading this, Hey stu! My thoughts on your books and such. I do like your plot and I love what you do with SPYDER leading to the climax. Just when we get to the climax, it does get lame sometimes.


  1. I thought of the same thing! How SPYDER is a top secret group, while they miss the simplest thing in their eyes. HOW CAN THEY MISS IT!? YOU HAD ONE JOB SPYDER. I swear, a couple of days ago, I was judging SPYDER of the simplest thing.

  2. IKR!!(I'm Joe, btw I just changed my name)
    I was wondering why Ashley didn't just blow Erica's and Ben's heads off. Even if she was morally good on the inside, Ashley was known to lose control sometimes, and she should be especially angry when in turns out Ben was a mole the whole time. Also, what kind of stupid organization thinks "Oh, this kid got kicked out. Let's recruit him," but the even more stupid organization thinks, "Oh this kid aimed a bomb at part of the school. He holds hundreds of super secret info, but let's kick him out anyway". That's just dumb.

  3. *He holds lots of super secret info

  4. i agree with spyder acting stupid sometimes, but it took the cia this long to find out about them. they did a pretty good job, plus some things, like in the first book the bomb being stopped by the clock, just couldn't have been known. though i do agree that they need to learn how to shoot, i mean honestly its not that hard to shoot someone from that close by.